


Glance

by NotJasonTodd



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: meh not sure where this is going yet but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:41:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24524038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotJasonTodd/pseuds/NotJasonTodd
Summary: This takes place directly after the Auction Raid, and Akira is finding it hard to go on knowing Takizawa is out in the world running free. From Akira's POV in meeting and seeing Taki again. Taki/Aki if you squint. Includes rushima island arc
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Auction Clean-Up

Special Investigator Arima had been the first to break the news to Akira Mado. Arima didn’t know how she would take it at first, but she seemed mostly professional. It wasn’t like he had much to share either way. Takizawa was still much of a mystery during the aftermath of the Auction Raid Operation. The Special Investigator had been able to compile an entire file to the former investigator, now working with the Ghoul Organization known as Aogiri Tree, _Seidou Takizawa_.

The manila file fell to the table without any fanfare, no satisfying _thud._ Akira Mado didn’t move a muscle, Arima leaned slightly backward in the conference room chair. He admitted, “We don’t have much.”

Akira hand her hands on her knees, slowly balling into fists as she hid her face from view. She felt embarrassed, somehow, like she had let this happen. “Tell me what happened.”

Special Investigator Arima pressed his lips together, in a thin line. “Ato Squad was completely wiped out during the initial stages of the Auction Raid. We found…evidence it may have been his work.”

Special Investigator Arima paused, watching Akira Mado intently. Her fists were balled tightly onto fists in her lap. “His provisional rating was above SS, before Sasaki even engaged.”

“Go back,” Akira said suddenly, looking up. The Special Investigator could tell from her face she was upset. She didn’t look sad or scared, neither would be familiar on her face to him. In fact, her face looked angry. Akira could recognize that face of Mado’s quickly. “You said he took down the entire squad?”

The Special Investigator nodded his head, “Yes, and it seems as the squad was being devoured, he took it upon himself to call in and report their status as alright over their com-frequency.”

Chills went down the back of Akira’s spine, rigid against the metal chair she was sitting in. She wondered slightly why the Special Investigator chose to tell her this in the conference room of all places. The windows were always too bright, and too open. She supposed that was one thing she disliked about the CCG, it was always flooded in light. Alarm bells were ringing in her head, _how could this have happened_? Akira blinked several times against the light in the room, biting the inside of her lip. She didn’t want to believe it, but she knew it was the truth. Takizawa and Amon had both disappeared during the Owl Raid two years ago, and were both presumed dead. He thoughts raced as her rationality couldn’t catch up. How was any of this possible? How could she rationalize all she had witnessed during the raid that night?

“We found,” Arima paused as he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, “Partial and scattered remains of most the investigators from Ato Squad. It’s clear he picked and chose which organs to eat. And if I were to be so bold as to guess, it would seem he enjoys the heads.”

Akira took a sharp breath, before bringing her hand to the file on the table between them. The Special Investigator said nothing, he just sat in silence. As Akira opened the file, she was struck by the photo they had found of Seidou. It was one she remembered, from their senior year together at the academy. He was stoic, looking at the camera straight forward. Akira found herself blinking against the lump in her throat. It had seemed like yesterday Seidou was chastising her for being a stuck-up teacher’s pet. It had been enough on her to lose both him and Amon during the same operation, now to have one return like this?

As she ran her finger down the page, she looked at the reports filed so far. Another investigator had recognized him from the sound of his voice on the loudspeakers during the Auction Raid. As she skimmed the report, she thought about how she had felt in that moment. When the loudspeakers had malfunctioned and somehow, the entire auction complex could hear the broadcast from the theatre. At first, she could only hear Sasaki screaming in pain.

Akira had barked into her communicator at first, in concern for Sasaki. As she heard the laughing coming over the intercoms, her face had gone completely dark. As Takizawa’s voice had cut through the silence, she could hear his sarcastic comments, _clear as day. He was alive._ Akira had shaken, silently at the sound of him. She had goosebumps as she thought she was hallucinating at the voices screaming over the loudspeakers. As Takizawa continued speaking, it was clear he was the one eliciting the screams from Sasaki in the background.

“We are still unsure how he managed to vacate the facility after the raid and Mop-Up Operations were completed,” Arima’s voice pierced through the silence, invading Akira’s vivid memories of the raid. She flipped through the reports again, absentmindedly.

“I saw him,” She paused, closing the file slowly. “Above the theatre, after you had engaged.”

Arima raised an eyebrow curiously. He would have to file another report of that then. The Special Investigator kicked himself mentally for not being more observant in that moment.

“He was in the rafters,” Akira paused, trying to remember that moment. She didn’t need to try that hard, it was practically frozen in time. Takizawa had looked directly at her. He had looked deranged, but it was definitely him. His hair had been ash-white, and longer. “We made eye-contact. I think he was…distressed.”

She paused, unsure. Arima watched her, knowing anything she could say would potentially be of use to the CCG.

“His hands were in his hair, and face. Like he was upset, like he was nervous?” Akira paused again, and noticed a slight hitch in her voice. _Not now, not in front of Special Investigator Arima._ Akira took a breath and tightened her lips together, “He didn’t look happy to see me.”

Arima brought his hands up, interlacing his fingers on top of the conference table. “His awareness and cognizance are in question, but his ability to maintain our frequency was of note. His strength is also of note, as he went toe to toe with Sasaki for a number of minutes unaided.”

Akira raised an eyebrow, trying not to betraying any emotion. “Surely he recognized me. If he is aware of his past, it’s clear he is aware his actions are wrong.”

Akira tried to speak with confidence, but she was shaken. She didn’t know what it took to turn a human into a double S rated ghoul, like the new Seidou Takizawa. She wasn’t aware of the torture and pain it entailed. She knew Takizawa’s mind was clouded, there wasn’t any doubt. But she was quick to dismiss redemption. In a perfect world, there was rehabilitation for other ghouls, like Takizawa. The kind that had been available to Sasaki. Her mind wandered to the thought of something like that for her former classmate. It was a fantasy, she knew, but it was a nice idea to indulge, for just a moment.

 _Was it possible he hadn’t recognized me at all?_ Akira paused, trying to go over that moment again in her mind. She had replayed it since the night it happened, but she couldn’t shake the knowledge that Takizawa had recognized her. She could _see_ it in his eyes that night. Although it would be easier to pretend he was a mindless ghoul now, with no knowledge of his wrongdoing. She wished it had been the other way. She found herself wishing he had died that night two years ago, during the Owl Extermination. This was so much worse. This was cruel. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind.

“Either way, the newest Owl will be targeted for extermination at a later date,” Special Investigator Arima concluded, watching her intently. Arima was hoping for any display of emotion, anything that would give her away.

Akira wanted to yell at first, but wasn’t sure why. She was conflicted, and she couldn’t explain it. Her memories all raced together, colliding at different speeds. She could see a flash of Takizawa from class, when his face was curled in that familiar face of frustration after she would correct him. Another flash from the academy, when Akira was awarded the first-place prize for her publication on nocturnal ghoul activity in the school newspaper. Takizawa had begrudgingly congratulated her, and blushed when she thanked him. She remembered the look in his eyes as he sulked off, even though she was genuinely happy to have his praise. As last, she remembered the look as he hid in the rafters above them during the Auction Raid. His hands had twisted up in his hair, and a cruel looking grimace was etched on his face. Seidou had looked almost pained to see her, horrified to witness her at his crime scene.

She nodded slowly, _as it should be._ He was a ghoul now, somehow. She was an investigator, as she’d always been. It was her mission now, to hunt him down. “I wish to take personal responsibility for this case.”

The Special Investigator arched an eyebrow, only somewhat expecting this reaction from Akria. He trained one eye on her, “Oh?”

Akira didn’t speak, thinking of Takizawa again. She had the beginning of her plan forming, but the end was still fuzzy. There was a possibility of capture and imprisonment at Cochlea, but she needed more manpower for the ability to take on the Owl at full force.

“This debrief…,” She paused, unsure how to formulate her plan to the Special Investigator, “Has been enlightening. I want to be assigned to this case, if I may be so bold. I feel I have a responsibility to bring my…former colleague to the proper justice.”

The Special Investigator raised an eyebrow, quizzically. In fact, this was the response he had hoped for, but he tried to convey sincerity and concern. He paused, “This investigation will be troublesome. The Owl is quite strong.”

Akira didn’t know what else to say, to convince him. Her mind was made up at this point, she wouldn’t back down. Special Investigator Arima liked that about Akira Mado, she was dedicated to the eradication of ghouls, just like her father. She wouldn’t let emotion cloud her judgement. He nodded slowly, agreeing with her.

“Takizawa can be your responsibility, if you wish. But I don’t want this case to take priority over the extermination of Aogiri Tree. We all need to work together,” Arima stressed.

Akira nodded, heart filling with something resembling hope. _I can find him._


	2. Rushima

It was only a few months after, when the Rushima Landing Operation began to take place that Akira started to understand everything. Akira Mado hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. Every night, it felt like, she found herself pouring over old case files and yearbooks from her days during the academy. She had even gone so far as to pull some of Investigator Houji’s old reports from when Seidou had been his subordinate. As she sat in her bedroom those nights, eyes tearing from lack of sleep and regret, she tried to remember anything which would help her understand this current situation. It wasn’t as if Seidou was a bad investigator, far from it, he never had any streak which would make him prone to this sort of… _traitorous behavior_. He had always been a model student, second only to Akira Mado herself.

How had he been turned? Who had taken him, and kept him all these years? _What type of torture have they inflicted on him?_ Akira’s mind was flooded with questions, and mostly with fear for learning the answers. It was clear Takizawa still had some lucidity, and she wondered how the person she knew would even cope with the type of trauma he was faced with. Maybe it was easier for him to turn to Aorgiri Tree, the very people who had tortured and kidnapped him to begin with. At moments like that, her mind drifted to Amon. She knew the odds of both her lost friends being alive at the same time was slim to none, but if Takizawa could survive, why couldn’t Amon?

She knew this was her responsibility, deep down. Takizawa had been her friend, her rival and competition. As her tears would stain the files, she knew she’d never be able to return them to Houji, and she often fell asleep like that. More than once she had found herself waking up with a horrible neckache in the middle of the night and forcing herself to move to the bed, only to find scattered photos and clippings around her apartment the morning after. Even when she was able to shut her eyes to sleep, he haunted her dreams. He would call out to her in the mush of her unconscious, begging her to acknowledge him. It wasn’t so different from when he was human, always looking for recognition. Now, she couldn’t think enough. In her nightmares, she could see everything that had happened to him. In her nightmares, she knew what it took to become a ghoul, and the long torturous process. She’d wake in a cold sweat, still clutching her left arm, making sure it was still where it was supposed to be. All her fingers were attached, and the pain she felt would fade away before she realized she was in her bed. Her memories of the nightmares would lessen, but the same terror in her gut she felt was the same. It was the same terror gripping her that day in Special Investigator Arima’s office. The same terror which sent her desperately searching to her yearbooks for proof, any conformation that she was wrong. The same terror she knew in her gut was real. Although, she still didn’t know if that terror was _because of_ Takizawa, or _for him_.

Things had been getting worse before the Rushima Operation, and she only needed to look to Special Investigator Arima for confirmation. She started to worry when she realized he would not join their unit for the Rushima Operation to take back the Aogiri Tree home base. Instead, she had been assigned with Special Investigator Houji’s to command her own Mado Squad when they encountered the ghoul, Tatara. It was Day 5 of the Operation so far, and they had made it past the beach, and inland into a complex of several abandoned buildings.

As she stood inside, commanding her own squad of Q’s that night, she felt almost helpless watching Special Investigator Houji fight. There wasn’t much she could do, other than command her squad when to fire their weapons. This fight was personal, and she knew it. She helped Houji as best she could, assisting him with the moves he had learned in China. But by the time Takizawa had busted in through the roof, she was already panting heavy from the fight, even though she did little work. The blast threw her back, surprising her as she locked eyes on her former classmate falling from the roof. The rubble and debris clouded her vision as she struggled to sit up. As Takizawa tumbled through the air, she watched as he seemed to bother the larger ghoul like a bug. She mumbled his name, watching him scamper through the air, not really believing it was him. As he seemed to fight Tatara, she watched him take shot after shot at the direction of the ghoul. _Why is he on our side? Why is he fighting Aogiri?_

“Hey Tata!” Takizawa’s sarcastic voice cut through the noise. He arched his back up into the air, releasing his kagune above Tatara, still on the ground. “Repaying you for the 20th Ward. So, eat up!”

Akira watched as his kagune sliced through the air, piercing Tatara’s thick outer protection. As Takizawa let his foot fall, he landed squarely on the back of Tatara, and before knowing what had happened, was blasted with a hot white flame. Akira flinched, biting the inside of her lip hesitantly. She knew that was coming, should she have warned him? _Are we fighting on the same side now?_ Takizawa screamed and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again, weather from the debris floating in the air of the fact that Takizawa was only a few feet from her. He didn’t seem to notice her as he unleashed another kagune, this one much stronger.

The fear returned to Akira’s gut as she watched helplessly. Another ghoul burst in and soon Takizawa defending himself against another Aogiri Tree associate. His lunges and throws became more violent as he swung back and forth, attempting to defend himself. It was as if the noise in the room was gone, and Akira could hear nothing but her heart thumping in her ears. She could feel the unease from the rest of her squad behind her, watching this fight between three members of the Aogiri Tree. Even Houji backed off momentarily. The fear in Akira’s gut twisted and twisted, making her feel nauseated like she might actually vomit when she realized Takizawa was actually _strong enough to take them both_. She wasn’t a stranger to violence, but as Takizawa impaled Tatara over and over again, she couldn’t turn away. The SS rating was starting to make sense, now. The world began to spin, and suddenly all she could hear was the sickening sound of Takizawa ripping one final hole in the abdomen of his victim. As Tatara fell, his mask erupted and disintegrated into a small burst of RC cells.

Akira Mado could feel herself shaking slightly as she stared at Takizawa. He was the only one left standing, now. His long cloak swirled around him, as he took a final look at his former Aogiri torturers. As he turned to face Houji and Akira, Akira fought herself not to cry as she watched his face for any sign of recognition. Takizawa almost looked happy, in an insane kind of way. He smiled, looking over at his old mentor, Special Investigator Houji, first.

“It’s done, what’s wrong?” Takizawa lifted a hand to his mouth tentatively, almost confused as he blinked several times. His nails were jet black, and his skin was pale as a ghost. It didn’t look like he had been eating very well. As Akira watched his movements closely, she couldn’t tell if he was crying or not. Streaks of blood were running down his cheeks, and it looked like he was trying to be sincere. Takizawa paused, “We got rid of most of the Aogiri Tree. We should be rejoicing…”

Akira’s face hardened as she looked to Houji. _He said we!_ The Special Investigator was locked eyes with Takizawa. Takizawa blinked a few times, his thoughts escaping him, “I…Investigator Houji?”

Houji turned, calling in a direct communication frequency to anyone who could hear, “All personnel, prepare to attack SS rate ghoul…the Owl.”


	3. Rushima Part 2

The next thing Akira felt was Takizawa’s cold hands around her throat. His face was smeared with blood and tears, of everyone who had been standing. Hoji’s head was left on the ground, not even prize enough for Takizawa. The earth was scorched, not even the sound of a pin dropping could be heard, over Takizawa’s whining.

His voice was soft at first, “I’ve been dreaming of this day. Killing Tatara with this power of mine. Saving you guys…the CCG…I’d be the hero.”

Akira could feel her breath slipping away at every word, as his hand clenched tighter around her throat. There was a truth in his words, and Akira knew it. She could _feel_ it. He wasn’t lying. He genuinely believed he would come out of this the hero.

“I really did want to help, and yet…” His voice trailed off, as if the sound was bouncing off the dead bodies in the room. He looked down, directing his focus toward Hoji’s head on the ground. “I was your subordinate, and you tried to kill me.”

“If Investigator Hoji hadn’t been there that day, it might not have ended up like this.” Takizawa paused again, and Akira let out a gasp for air. He turned his attention back to her, tears running down his face. “I wanted you to see it too.”

Akira had about enough of this, and coughed a few times. She didn’t know if he wanted her to see the carnage he was capable of, or that he initially had a warped idea to save the CCG. She coughed again, sputtering venom out, “I was watching. We all understand. You’re a killer ghoul.”

She paused, letting him see the rage behind her eyes. How could this have happened this way? “Ending it here was an act of compassion on Investigator Hoji’s part. Killing you himself, instead of having you eradicated. Why don’t you get that?”

“So…” Takizawa’s nostrils were flaring, still dripping with blood. “In other words, you and Investigator Hoji are the same.”

In the brief moment that his hand tightened, Akira swore she could see another tear drip down his face. As she lost consciousness, she could hear herself only utter his name.

By the time she awoke, Takizawa was missing the arm that had been around her throat, and he was battling a new foe.

“I killed Investigator Hoji,” Takizawa’s voice rang out from the rubble. “You’re finally here now that Mado’s in trouble.”

Takizawa reached his arm out and connected it back to the piece former-Investigator Amon had just cut off. Akira watched in stunned horror. They were _both_ back?

“You’re like the rest of them,” Takizawa muttered, before throwing a quick lunge attack in the direction of Amon. As the blow connected, Takizawa stuck him fingers in his mouth, he was getting hungry being surrounded by so much good _food_. “You wanna kill me too, Amon?”

From the huddled mess in the corner, Amon’s voice could barely be heard. “I came to save an old friend, you Takizawa.”

Akira almost hurled when she saw Takizawa bent over laughing at that comment. Amon was back from the grave and trying to help and he was laughing? Takizawa’s cloak flared out behind him, as if it was animated in the breeze. “Save?”

“Did you say save, Amon?” Takizawa laughed again, bending over and almost comically keeping his fingers in his mouth at the same time. Akira watched him, the horror playing out on his face clear as day. He paused, the dark mask returning over his features, “How condescending.”

He threw a barrage of kagune at former-Investigator Amon, before continuing his taunts. “You wanna save me? Okay? How are you gonna do it?”

His face twisted into a mask of horror so unrecognizable to Akira she had to look away. “You’ve been hiding in the shadows. So, try it, Kotaro Amon.”

Takizawa made a quick jump over Amon’s head and the rained down on him from above before quickly attaching himself squarely on Amon’s back. He wasn’t sure where the idea came from, not that it was a good one. He smiled, letting his breath tickle Amon’s ear. “This is how a ghoul does it.”

With a flash, Takizawa released his kagune from his backside, before using it quickly to impale the both of them directly through the abdomen.

“Well how you like that?” Takizawa jumped to the opposite side of the room, his RC cells already making quick recovery of the impaled wound. He would need to eat soon, though. He needed to keep his strength, and especially for this fight. “Too weak, the old man was right. You are a failure.”

Takizawa stood over Amon, who was struggling to get up. Even though his pain, he muttered, “Is that what you think you are? A ghoul?”

Takizawa paused, watching Amon get back up to a standing position, “You’ve sinned. The Investigators you’ve killed, the civilians you’ve consumed, its unforgivable.”

“But I know your courage, and your weaknesses, and you are not a ghoul.” Amon’s voice rang with such clarity it froze Takizawa directly in place. “You’re a ghoul investigator.”

“Shut up!” Takizawa yelled, unsure at first of where the voice had even come from. He unleashed his kagune once again and charged at Amon. As they clashed, Amon kept yelling over Takizawa’s protests.

“You have to atone for your sins!” Amon lunged, blocking Takizawa’s oncoming attacks with ease, momentarily.

“With death?” Takizawa smiled a grotesque smile.

“No! Come with me!” Amon’s voice rang out high as Takizawa pierced his abdomen and ran through his body easily with his kagune. As he held is prize above him, dripping blood, he actually turned to look at Mado for just a moment.

“He wants me to repent and live,” Takizawa said softly, before tossing Amon from his kagune-skewer and flinging him to the side of the room. As he approached Akira, she kept herself firm, but still conflicted at heart. “Mado, you wanted me to die quietly, if I remember correctly?”

“So, who is right? You or Amon?” The tears were freeing down Akira’s face now, and she hadn’t noticed but they had started when Amon crashed through the roof. Akira couldn’t say anything, she didn’t know. Amon was fighting for what felt like a lost cause. How was there a possible repentance for every act Takizawa had committed?

At that moment, as if on que, a knife struck Takizawa’s right eye and sent him back flying a few feet away from Akira Mado. She turned quickly to see Investigator Mutsuki coming to her assist, just in time.

Mutsuki paused as he entered the room, surveying the carnage and two very live ghouls. “A rate SS Owl, and a floppy.”

He used the term in a derogatory form, in reference to Amon, who was still in a huddled heap on the ground. As he informed Akira about the reinforcements coming from the newly formed Urie squad and Suzuya squad, he eyed Takizawa in the corner as a challenge. He paused, “I’ll buy us some time.”

Mutsuki unleashed his kagune, but before he could really do anything with it, Takizawa had run to the other side of the room and pulled it out from behind his back. He yanked at the kagune, forcing Mutsuki to counter his attack.

“Come here kiddo!” Takizawa laughed at Mutsuki got down on his level. As Takizawa smiled, Mutsuki managed to spit a wad of blood right on Takizawa’s face as he turned around. In shock, Takizawa dropped Mutsuki’s kagune and tried to wipe the blood off his face. That was all the time Mutsuki needed to make his only attack. Flinging his kagune out, he separated it into four sections, by the time he had landed, he had pinned Takizawa down by the arms and legs to the ground.

“I think we can end this,” Mutsuki said, blinking without any feeling. This was just a bug to him, after all. He was an Investigator. As Mado watched this, she had a gut reaction in her stomach. It didn’t matter that Takizawa had tried to kill her already once today. 

He struggled against the kagune piercing through his wrists and ankles, he just wasn’t _strong enough_ yet. This wasn’t his time to go. But as soon as he thought it, the killing blows were death and Takizawa could feel something warm against his abdomen.

When Akira moved, she did out of a gut reaction, there were no thoughts in her brain. It didn’t matter that Takizawa was a ghoul, or that he had killed countless people. That was her former classmate, her former _friend_. And if Amon thought he was capable of saving, then he must be.

As the kagune hit Akira’s back, she fell down over Takizawa, protecting him from the blows. She smiled at him, underneath her tears. His eyes were wide, unsure how to process this new turn of events.

“Takizawa,” She muttered, blood trickling over her lower lip.

“Mado,” Takizawa paused, looking over his body. The kagune was retracted, and he could move his arms and legs now. He suspected this hadn’t ever happened before. An investigator protecting a ghoul? That would get her killed for sure. “What are you doing?”

He looked up at her face, just as another shot rang out. This one sounded like rifle fire, hitting Mado squarely in the shoulder above him. In his horror, he stopped to notice just how beautiful she looked.

“Investigator Mado,” A sing-song voice rang out below them, “Protecting a ghoul is a serious offence.”

“I know,” Akira’s voice rang out, clear as day, despite the clear struggle she was having just sitting upright over Takizawa’s body.

“Then why?” The frustrated, yet angry voice demanded, and let out more lashes. Some striking Akira’s cheeks and back, some hitting her armor.

“I could never look them in the face again,” Akira paused, looking over Takizawa’s tall but gangly frame. “Investigator Hoji, my father. I tried to remain calm but I couldn’t. I failed as an Investigator.”

Takizawa’s face froze as she came closer. She looked ethereal, only covered in blood and tears.

“Takizawa?” She asked, even though it was clear she wasn’t talking to Mutsuki anymore. “I’ve thought about it over and over again. If only I had stopped you that night.”

Takizawa looked up at her, desperate to hang onto those words. Had she really thought about that night? Had she really missed him at all? He was desperate to hang onto any piece he could, but now here she was, dying in his arms. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to take the killing blow. There was nothing he could do for her now.

He reached a hand up, into her golden hair. Oh how much he had missed her. Akira passed out like that, in Takizawa’s arms. And for the few moment’s it lasted, it felt like heaven to him.


End file.
